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XgenKaKu
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PostSubject: Disbandment   28th June 2011, 3:06 pm

How did you feel when you heard that D'espairsRay had decided to disband?

Were you angry? Depressed?

What are your concerns about the band's future?

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
*~in vain~*
"Nobody can fill my
ego.
"Nobody can
violate me.
"Nobody can do my style.
Therefore...so..."


Last edited by XgenKaKu on 29th June 2011, 6:02 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Dreylan

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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   28th June 2011, 7:31 pm

When I heard about it I was in Austria having some kind of trip. My friend was in messenger at the same time so she told me that they were decided to disband. I didn't get it at the moment. I went shock and I cried and cried and there was no end for it.

The night was so.. how would I spell it. I just didn't understand it. It was horrible..
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Wicky

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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   28th June 2011, 11:57 pm

June 15th. It was my birthday :/ so, when I wake up I enter to twitter and I saw the info in a random blog, I just can't believe it but my friends told me that it was true, I wasn't able to enter to the official website to see it with my own eyes that day.

I cried a lot, even when I "celebrate" my birthday, it was just horrible, I was very depressed and I just can't stop crying

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
嘆き果てる no tears for me to cry... 闇が照らし no more hope left to live...
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chimamire-no-bara

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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   29th June 2011, 3:14 am

That day June 15th was so bittersweet day to me, like there happened good things and then came this. I can't still believe this and I guess I can't never belive it that it's impossible for now on to see ever again D'espairsRay (;__Wink I have so much goods memories with them so I keep them in my mind but sometimes I just wanna cry because there years went too fast for me and I guess the other fans too think the same way like I do. Anyway they will always live in my heart and they will always be in my "Favorite bands list" even they are disbanded now~ ♥️
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ZEROgasm
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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   29th June 2011, 12:40 pm

I knew this might be coming after I heard about the hiatus. Still it was a huge shcok to me. I cannot understand it even now.. Or I do understand but can't believe it's true. Why D'espairsRay?

At first I just stared the information, then I started to cry, shut down my computer and called my friend to pick me up. At the beginning she didn't answer to me and I was afraid what should I do now.. I cried almost the whole day but it got better.

I am surprised that I've been crying and sad about this so less. Maybe it was the work in my brain, that this might be coming and I have to face that fact.

Hmm... I just... Don't still got it. I'm still waiting (or not) for the day I actually realize it's true.

It felt like my life has just stopped and the ground under my feet would have disappeared. I didn't have anyone or anything anymore, that's how I felt.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
“D’espairsRay will stay the best band in the world
which will be long remembered by everybody
even if it disbands.”
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XgenKaKu
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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   29th June 2011, 6:17 pm

It's very sad to know how this has been for everyone... Sad Though, I knew this would be a depressing thing to talk about.


For me, I got an email from Myspace that said they had posted a new blog entry. I remember reading it, and as soon as I saw the word 'disbanded', I got a sick feeling in my stomach. It felt like I got punched.

I read all of their messages on the blog, and as I read them I just remember thinking that I shouldn't be depressed about it. I told myself that it was a good thing, because HIZUMI could concentrate on healing without the stress of thinking about the band's future.

However, I really don't think it's a very good thing that they disbanded. As chimamire-no-bara said, the years just went by way too fast.

I know it hasn't hit me yet, because I don't remember crying about it... Maybe one time I did while in the shower, but I don't remember it too well, so it's like it never happened. My eyes do tear up when I think about it though, but I just can't cry for some reason... I feel like I will tonight, though. =/

When they announced their Hiatus is when I cried. I cried myself to sleep every night for a few weeks, because in my mind that was their disbandment. Right now, when I try to comprehend the fact that they are really disbanded, it's like my mind goes numb. My brain really wont allow me to fully understand that they have disbanded.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
*~in vain~*
"Nobody can fill my
ego.
"Nobody can
violate me.
"Nobody can do my style.
Therefore...so..."
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Kaleidoscope

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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   29th June 2011, 8:41 pm

June 15th was a day I was looking forward to, in the beginning ..
I was going on a trip to Oslo with my dear friends, and we were very excited.
We went around buying stuff all day, seeing all the wonderful tourist attractions, and so on.
I couldn't wait to get home and rest. Then I logged onto Facebook, and I checked D'espa's page ..

I was worried as soon as I saw the title ("Final Call"), but I hoped that it wasn't what I feared. My heart just shattered when I saw the word "disbanding". It was like something hard and sharp just hit me in the stomach. After that, I just sat and cried for hours.

I put on "Squall" after that, one of my very favorite D'espa songs.
It caused me to cry so much, because the song was just too fitting at the moment ..
This actually caused my voice to seize up, forcing me to cancel my performance at my schools final talent show.

Can't say I slept well that night .. at all.
Still, I hope the very best for the future of Hizumi, Karyu, Zero and Tsukasa.
They're all very dear to me, and I still hope a reunion is possible some day. <3
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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   29th June 2011, 11:00 pm

Before I heard about it, people used to tease me, saying stuff like "Man, if D'espa disbanded, you'd cry!" And I would deny it.

However, when I read about their break, I did cry. It was weird, but it hurt me in a seriously emotional way, because i had listened to their music for what seemed like only a few years, they had been something I'd grown so very fond of, but it seemed like it was coming to an end. ZERO is kind of my hero because I hope to be an amazing bassist on his level someday. [/cheesy]

I know it makes me a crazy fanboy, but whenever I make a wish I ask for Hizumi's health and for them to continue writing music. I miss them already, but I'm hoping for their return.
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HiXzu

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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   30th June 2011, 6:36 pm

It is still very hard to believe it..
I was visiting a friend and didn't had my phone on loud. I got like 10 calls and some short messages saying "you know it right?" I thought "wtf is going on?" so I called my friend. As she told me what happened I ran into my friends bathroom, locked the door and cried.

I couldn't believe that this was real, even I actually waited for the disbanding news since they got on Hiatus.

As I went home I honestly cried my eyes out. I was mad, sad, worried and all this. But now I can understand it. It's because the pressure was so high for them, especially Hizumi, because everyone waited for the "we're back" news. Now he has time to recover and get healthy again without pressure at all.

But also I can't hide it that I'm really sad about it. And the date is the worst. 15.6 and 15.7 are way to much of a coincedence. Both of this dates are marked inside my soul and left wounds there. The two things which made me to who I am now aren't there anymore. One is gone forever and the other one will come back, showing their faces here and there but not as this special band anymore.

All I can say now is that I'm a very proud Mania and always will be.



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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   30th June 2011, 7:16 pm

I heard about it when I got home that day and checked my facebook. I was scrolling down on the page and there was that post from someone, she translated a D'espa song and posted it as 'In memory of D'espairsRay'. I commented "What's 'in memory of', they didn't disband!" but right after that I checked their ameba blog and there was the announcement.. I felt like someone has ripped my heart out of my body and teared it into pieces, I have no idea how long I cried... After this happened I fell into depression, I didn't want to do anything and couldn't be happy about anything, I just stared at the ceiling and waited for my death. I couldn't sleep and when noone was there I cried all night long, and got 1~2 hours of sleeping, if any. But somehow I stood up again, I don't say I'm fine but I'm patiently waiting for their return.. I still hope they will come back someday.
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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   1st July 2011, 6:00 pm

I was at work in that day. So I could know about the disbandment only when I came home after work. Well, it was like I found myself in the darkness and the last ray of light disappeared in my eyes. My heart didn’t want to take it. My heart that was healed once with their music got a sore again. Even I’ve never cried, but in that day I cried for them. I was alone. Nobody could see those tears, nobody could see that pain. The next night was full of the nightmares...

I’m still sad and don’t believe. But still I feel something for D’espairsRay. It’s like they have the special karma. Their disbandment is so mysterious for me. I feel it’s not the end. And it’s not the time to say goodbye. I will continue to follow my way that they helped me to find. Even there is no the ray of light in this darkness right now, I believe I can see it again one day. Because I will love them forever...

Dear Mania, please don’t cry anymore. We are very strong! We can love and share this love for them among each other. If all of us believe, we can bring D’espairsRay back one day with our love. So this ray in our despair will never disappear... I love you
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ZEROgasm
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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   1st July 2011, 6:12 pm

Desert_Rain, wow someone's reading my mind! Or... actually, you told me what I'm feeling even if I myself didn't notice that.

I agree with you, this can't be the end. It's not like I don't want it to be an end, it's like... I have the special feeling too, as you said. That's maybe the reason I'm not that sad I could be. Or why I haven't done the thing I said couple of posts earlier...

D'espairsRay will always exist, the band will never die even if it disbands.

And I'm sure we aren't the only ones who can feel this immortality.

(I couldn't help myself but staring at that PV clip in your signature)

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
“D’espairsRay will stay the best band in the world
which will be long remembered by everybody
even if it disbands.”
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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   1st July 2011, 6:46 pm

ZEROgasm,

About IMMORTAL… Their best album’s name. It seems D’espairsRay chose their fate Smile

I think nobody can die or disappear until there are people who love and believe… Mania have very powerful love for D’espairsRay. So they can’t just disappear.

Ah KAMIKAZE. It’s my favorite song. Because of the lyrics I think. So powerful. HIZUMI said in this song he would like to leave the meaning of living. It seems D’espairsRay didn’t do it yet. So they can’t leave right now. That’s how I feel about it.
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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   1st July 2011, 6:55 pm

14.6 was the second best day in my life, I saw Linkin Park live for the first time and then the next morning a message from my friend woke me. I just stared at my phone and I felt empty. I was sitting in my room the whole day and just cried.

I still can't believe this. And I still believe that one day they'll come back.

Listening to them helps me but I'm not able to watch their dvds... not yet.

I'll love them forever and I'll stay a Mania forever! ^^
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Kei

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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   2nd July 2011, 2:56 am

Well... How hard is it to express feelings in another language? I will try. [In advance, excuse my grammar decadent.]

June, 15th 2011

How can I forget that day? It was like a movie.

First... I was sleeping when my phone rang; my friend was calling me desperate. I never got to answer but I checked the message I had sent -Here was morning-. I went into shock ... It was as empty, helplessness, curiosity, sadness, anger... I was angry... "Why? How?"

I wake up immediately. I turned on the notebook and searched the official website. I think I looked at the screen for a while, but for me... Time had stopped. I returned to reality when I realized it was raining, I had to go to the Universidad. It was horrible, I cried in the shower, in my room. Just, think about them during the day.

Squall… This song accompanied me all day. Hizumi's voice was a whisper to me.

Today, when I listen, I do not think they are separated, I still cry when I remember that notice, I still cry when I remember the reality. However, its essence is still alive, still with us, the Mania. It's beautiful and depressing at the same time.

D'espairsRay NOT DIE, never will, the Mania either, because I think it is our duty to support them, for that we are so excited that cry and seeing them.


Only hope to recover Hizumi. He is strong. You can do this. It will. And back.
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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   2nd July 2011, 2:32 pm

June 15th. The most hilarious day in at work and then I come home, open the computer and read about D'espairRays disbandment. Can't say I was very happy after that. The information didn't proceed in to my brain for next two days. Then it really hit me and I was at the verge to start crying but held myself together because I was in one festival, working there in a security. I could not believe it, still can't but somehow I have managed to keep myself going on. For one thing, I haven't been able to listen them...

I try not to hope too much for them coming back someday. It would just shatter things more for me...
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XgenKaKu
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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   2nd July 2011, 2:39 pm

I think it finally hit me today... I'm getting increasingly depressed as the day drags on. x.x

I've been listening to them non stop, and it's just... It's really hard to believe they are gone. :/ It doesn't seem fair that such a talented band wont be making music anymore. T^T

They really don't deserve this type of fate... It can't be over. =[


x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
*~in vain~*
"Nobody can fill my
ego.
"Nobody can
violate me.
"Nobody can do my style.
Therefore...so..."
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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   2nd July 2011, 8:23 pm

I haven't been able to listen to their music since june 15th.
And that's it for now.
I try not to think about it. It's fine, I guess, as long as I don't think about my experiences with them, concerts and times their music filled me with courage.
I keep my hopes up.
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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   3rd July 2011, 1:19 am

well, the thought of D'espairsRay's disbandment had never even crossed my mind, honestly. but somehow now, my heart still thinks that D'espairsRay is still there. the four of them.
I still remember those days when I waited everyday for them to announce that they are coming back from their hiatus, and they are ready to release singles, albums, DVDs and so on.
I have even saved my money, for I know I will positively buy something from them. I can still remember the happiness I imagined when they say that they're back.
I know it's really difficult for me to accept that they disbanded. But deep within my heart, I still believe that D'espairsRay exists up till now.
And I'm glad to know that they have been a part of my life. I'm so glad I got the chance to listen to their amazing songs.

D'espairsRay will always be in my heart <3
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MidoriTsuki

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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   11th July 2011, 5:47 am

I was in shock . I found the news on some page and for a second stared at that page and then started crying. And crying. I went to see the video fro Squall and just cried some more. I couldn't believe it but I wasn't angry. I was just sad. Visual kei/Jrock scene just got a lot more pale....But I knew I had to respect D'Ray's decision. I'm still sad about it but they will always be in my heart. No
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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   20th July 2011, 4:27 pm

There really is no way tp put how i felt like that day, it was like having a newborn child in my hands and having it torn away from me before i ever really appreciated how beautiful it was...This band was one of those bands i thought would be around for my entire life...

but we all know this is not true. They cant be around forever, but they were around for 11 years, and i wish they could be around for 11 more.

i cried, alot..

i was depressed, still am.

LOVE IS not DEAD!

I am forever the MAnIA!

Hizumi we love you, never give up and i hope you never let your dream go, despairsray painted many dreams for ma<3
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PostSubject: Re: Disbandment   7th August 2011, 8:29 pm

It was like, 5am when I heard. I can't say that it surprised me, but it still hurt. First thing I did was play Assassin's Creed 2 for almost an hour....that made me feel better. I couldn't listen to them in my regular rotation until two or three weeks ago.

I'm sad about it, yeah, but rather than crying, I'll just make more Mania. I've already made one. <3
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